suyo, peru

i am going to start titling my blogs with my location, how about that.
well, today i find myself in an unpleasant situation, in a tiny muddy town just past the border of ecuador and into peru. woohoo peru!
i found out i could buy a ticket in loja, ecuador, from a bus company that runs internationally, into Piura, Peru. an 8 hour journey, i read, and the bus will wait for me at the border while i take care of border formalities, and then continues on. easy! well, turns out i couldn´t have picked a worse route for my journey into peru.
when we stopped in macara, the closest town to the border, the driver informed me first, that it would be about a 15 minute wait there, i could go to the bathroom, get something to eat, whatever. 5 minutes later he turns off the engine and tells me that we can´t go any further. it was hard to understand him, it took several tries for him before i got it. there was some kind of protest happening and no buses were allowed to pass through. he fished in his pocket to return the 3 dollars as refund for my ticket, and walked off. so i was totally confused, and had no idea what i was supposed to do. no one seemed the least bit interested in helping me out. i had to poke around, finally another man lingering around the dusty bus told me i could take a truck to the border, from the park. so i found a ride right away for a dollar, and then PERU on a big wooden sign painted as the flag, came into view. the border guy was a total jerk, i waited for a family ahead of me to fill out their paperwork, ´hey you´ he said, in english, in an ugly spanish accent. i´ve gotten used to the whistling, that´s how everyone gets each other attention here, but hey you, that´s just rude. so i took care of things there, than walked across the bridge to peru. it was hot my clothes sticky with sweat. i wiped the sweat dripping from my upper lip on my sleeve as the peruvian border guard inspected my face with my passport photo in his hands. i took my glasses off and smiled. i thought they´d at least look in my bags or something, but it was all very straightforward and easy. easy except for being totally confused about what to do next. it was like no one knew what was going on with the buses. i was able to change my american cash into soles with a lady that ran one of the ´restaurants´on the highway, where i also had some lunch. a big blue tarp hung over some table and chairs on one side, and a mishmash of big metal pots and containers and a grill cluttered the other half. when there were no other free tables, a nice older couple sat with me at mine. the man warned me not to trust anyone in peru, that there are bad people, and to keep my money hidden. he also explained the situation slightly better. the protest isn´t dangerous, it´s over a water privatization issue. i´m thinking, water-buses. what do they have to do with each other.
i got another ride in a car with a family to suyo, the closest town on the peruvian side. i guess when this happens there are usually plenty of cars or trucks running to and from places where buses aren´t running. they´ll wait at the side of the road and shout out their destination until someone hops in. i arrived here around 1 or 2 and, based on what little information i got, decided it would be best to stay for the night and catch a bus the next day. well, today, i experienced more or less the same thing. lady at the highway side restaurant tells me, yes, i can take a bus to sullana, the next sizable town from here, where i can catch a bus to piura. great.
well i´m waiting at the side of the road where a bunch of other people, all men, are standing around or seated on a saggy wooden bench that i guess constitutes as the bus station. but there are no buses passing. i ask the guy next to me if there are buses running today. nope. there are not. cars go by, mostly packed, and pick up one or two people on the way to a town who´s name i don´t recognize. tomorrow, i ask. doesn´t know. maybe tomorrow. maybe the day after. so i went back to my hotel and paid for another night. i suppose i could pay for the expensive car ride to piura if i wait long enough at the side of the road for a car going that way, but i chose to stay because i´m more comfortable taking a bus, and it´s far cheaper. but i dont want to be here. it´s like i´m in purgatory! not quite here, not quite there. nothing to do but wait. sleep. well at least that´s not a problem for me...
my room..brick walls. corrugated metal roof. rain pours, roof clangs. i feel protected by the sound. my sweaty skin looks healthy and brown. i love the way daylight illuminates skin, softly filtered by a piece of fabric draped from a piece of string accross the barred window. when it´s grazed by the breeze the light wavers, i feel life in slow motion. wearing nothing but a pair of panties i am stretched out on the sheet, gazing up, gazing down at my body. back and forth, i ride a wave of words streaming through my mind, then descend into the sound and feeling. all night it pours and pours.
and i have plenty of friends to keep me company here...this is the land of giant flying crickets and beetles. they like to say hello friend, by jumping off the ceiling and into my hair, on my body, or surprising me in the morning by jumping out of my shoe!
ugghh.
well, i´ve got lots of time to kill, so i thought i think i´ll do a little recap of ecuador.

quito. i was totally freaked out. both my head and body felt unoccupied. i felt i had left all of me behind in canada. i interpretted everything as possible danger. as soon as it got dark at 630 i was in my hotel. i took 20 hours of spanish lessons. i felt like scarlett johanssen in lost in translation, wandering in and out of museums, cathedrals, and colonial buildings. i bounced between the extremities of hope and desolation.

otavalo. my first bus ride through the country. 3 hours. shocked when i saw that it was perfectly acceptable to throw garbage out the window onto the highway. enthralled by the market. my past felt like a dream. nothing felt real. i was lost.

peguche. hiked to the waterfall. met a man who tried to speak english with me and showed me to his home above a little store near the waterfall. claimed to be a shaman and wanted me to spend the night there so that he could do a ceremony for me the next day. wanted us to drink special tea together. told him i had to get back to quito...

banos. disappointed by the little cement hole thermal baths. hiked up a mountain to a view of the volcano that erupted years earlier wiping out the entire town. astounded by beauty. sat in a tree. went out for dinner with 3 ladies i met at my hostal. tried the infamous canelazo drink, and had a wicked dejavu experience. later thought i was going to drive myself insane. wanted to rip out my brains.

latacunga. made peace with myself in a 4 dollar hotel. watched a wierd parade of little children in custumes varying from indigenous dress to bunny rabbits and witches.

zumbahua. breathtaking bus ride through the andes. packed and holding on to the overhead railings in the aisle. admired the woman in front of me maintaining her balance while breastfeeding her child wrapped around her belly in a shawl, while the bus bumped along.
got pulled into a circle of men passing around an old beat up guitar and cups of beer, singing traditional songs in a little tienda. got many offers for an ecuadorian boyfriend.

quilotoa lake. got harassed by children trying to sell me a 5 dollar donkey ride back up to the top of the crater. i hid from them behind some rocks. for hours gazed into the lake, hypnotizing blue and green. shivered in bed, wondering about the future.

chugchilan. felt i was in some other world, or that i had found the real south american andes.

ibarra. loved the flat city and it´s ethnic diversity. became addicted to icecream. chatted with an old polaroid photographer in the park. someone tried to pickpocket me.

san lorenzo. whole different ecuador.

la tola. took a boat ride through the mangroves. felt tiny and misplaced. slept in funny smelling sheets. woke up with over 20 spider bites on my body.

atacames. the beach. disgusted by the tacky bamboo style beach bars playing obnoxious latin disco tunes. life did not feel good. wondering when i would actually feel like i was ´here´

sua. similar to atacames.

canoa. my world fell apart, and i looked in horror at the pieces that reflected my mind. felt i had wasted years of my life avoiding what really ´is´. everything felt meaningless. totally isolated within myself.

playa escondida. got a ride down the 10km road wedged between two boys on a motorcycle. took long walks along the beach. spent a lot of money at the overpriced restaurant. still unsettled.

puerto lopez. felt a buzzing electricity. given salsa dance lessons by a boy on the beach. kissed him on the rocks as the red sun sank behind the sea. he wanted more, i made it difficult for him by pretending i didn´t understand. felt like i was at a point from which many other paths sprouted. felt good.

montanita. i loved the street performers and artesans. everything was buzzing. i walked barefoot every day, felt like i had come to a place inviting me to be myself. took many walks along the beach. christmas dinner at luna´s, danced with her in the street. martin built a mini machu pichuu out of sand for me on the beach. braza pursued me with his hypnotizing eyes and smile that seemed to belong to another time and place. new years. confused by sexuality. frustrated at the persistent conflict i encounter when interacting with people.

cuenca. relieved to be alone again. totally disoriented. caught my breath. searched for peace within me. got excited about my blog.

saraguro. hiked to a waterfall. spent the night in a healing ceremony with a shaman. things connected. thought about my path. meaning came back to me that i had doubted and shoved aside a month earlier.

vilcabamba. so quiet. hoping i would find a friend. life becoming perceptible in a different way. went on a 4 hour horse back ride around the area. many thoughts, but things feel good.

loja. couldn´t sleep. reading the peru section of my guidebook. overwhelmed by all the things to do. map doesn´t make any sense. nervous about crossing the border. thinking, i´ve had enough of this now. i dont want to be alone in peru.

that´s about it. now i´m feeling tired of this.