Chachapoyas, Peru

i feel like i belong as i trudge the muddy street in the soft sifting rain, my little body disguised in a thick boxy wool poncho.with my form shifting, i feel my movement is just the way i see the walk of the locals. all i´m missing is a pair of muddy rubber boots and a long black ponytail.
this morning i woke 10 minutes before my alarm was to go off, at 5:30. got a knock at my door at 5 to 6. i was in the bathroom. ¨un momento!¨ ¨para kuelap¨.
i paid for a tour to the kuelap ruins the day before, supposedly the runner up in ruins of s.a. to machu pichu, which i might not visit. in fact i´m leaning towards a no.
my group consisted of only 2 others, a friendly peruvian couple from lima. i felt alive and awake in the dawning blue, cool air as i stood at the side of the taxi waiting for them to arrive. the drive was about 2 and a half hours i think. we stopped for a breakfast of dry buns, cheese and coffee in the town 20 minutes from the ruins.
it comes to my attention now and then the way it seems i´ve been travelling in some kind of bubble that repels other backpackers. and it seems a little odd to me, that most of the people i meet are local, even in the most touristed, gringo frequented places. i suppose i sort of feel special that my path has been crossing those of these people, that it is much more interesting.
it seems like so long ago since i was expressing )or trying, that is) things like my feelings, perceptions, my relationship with my self, with my world. perhaps this is for the better.i think that being emersed in a new language is becoming a very good lesson in communication for me. i even think, partly, the reason i have been feeling good, is because that frustration that i have always felt, of not being able to express through language what i felt i so urgently needed to, has been relieved .
i have so much space now to let grow and gestate those things which require time to bloom.
by the way, the cheese here is absolutely awful. it´s like this white, supersalty moist spongy substance that, if one weren´t aware that it was cheese, they would never guess it. sandwhiches are also disappointing to say the least. a sandwhich at a typical cafe might mean a bun with a slab of cheese and nothing more. mayo, mustard, forget it. anyway
the drive felt good. this is a new thing for me. hence i stress this word. life,like the beingalive part, actually feels good. its as though the skin of my body, what divides my internal to the external and interprets it, is happy and dancing.
i have been discovering that i understand so much more of the language when i dont attach myself to it. when i´m not straining my mind by trying to grasp each individual word. when instead, i observe it from a sort of distance, and just listen, instead of translate. and i think this morning, because i was so alert, and unusually so at such an early hour, and connected to myself, i found myself surprised and delighted at how well i was understanding the conversation passing back and forth from the backseat to our driver.
we were met by our guide at the site. a shining young boy who seemed remarkably articulate for his age. the ruins were truly spectacular. behind the fortress, the remains were mainly the crumbling foundations of the different structures, what had once been homes, meeting places. ancient stone pathways eroding away in pristine cloud florest, overlooking a breathtaking mistfilled valley. while we stood at the edge of the fortress when we first ascended the structure, i noticed the icey looking dew on one of the plants, like someone had bejewelled each leaf in an array of crystals. when the boy noticed my gaze he ripped off one of the leafs, revealing a white substance goozing out the raw vein. glue! he spread a dab in his palm, folding over his finger, snapping hand like a crab claw, to demonstrate it´s stickiness. incredible! i think. at another point he picked some green herb clusters that had a lemony scent, placing one in each of our hands, and told us it could be used as tea leaves. this ones good for the cold, he said. it is rainy season in the mountains now, and it is chilly cloudy skies, but it only rained very lightly while we were there. and i was so glad i decided to go with a guided tour, because not only did it make transport a hell of a lot easier, but i actually learned some interesting things, and the couple were genuinely interested and asked a lot of questions, so that was helpful.
in chiclayo i bought a little point and shoot camera, because my digital camera, that i debated buying to the point of exhaustion before i left )its always those stupid little decisions that make me crazy) is now broken. this is completely my fault for neglecting it, not having proper case for it, and it having been banged around countless times in my bag as i´d toss it into the sand to rest my head on while on the coast in ecuador. i´ve never handled such a simple camera as this, it almost feels like a priviledge. i´m a little doubtful of the quality, but i´ll find out soon enough if it´s worth purchasing another digital.
on the way back we stopped for lunch at the same basic restaurant we had breakfast at earlier. each one of us had a tea, and in our mugs we put in the leaves from the ruins to soak in the hot water. i wondered if it would make me feel like a powerful inca warrior
i am finding it difficult to form sentences at this time, though i wanted to write more.
i have a good feeling about this country, and i am looking forward to being further south, where there is so much more to explore, and people to meet.